Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
