Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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