and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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