I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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