Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
