I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
