she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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