Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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