I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
