he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
