garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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