help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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