Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
