Me. At least after what I've been through.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
