that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
