STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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