I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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