Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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