I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
