Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I see more hoeing in ur future
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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