As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
