Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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