Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
