We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
