And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
