I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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