when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
