my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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