She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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