its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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