what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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