i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need water and some morals
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
