redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
