I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No subtext here. People are naked.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
