try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
