i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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