I wish you could order shots online.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Come see our sink grown plant.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
