It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
