Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
