its not stalking. its research.
well you can't waste a boner
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
