BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
