you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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