I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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