You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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