Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
