I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
