So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
