Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
