I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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