their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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