Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
