he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
