I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
