Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
