So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
